How can I prevent contact between my spouse and her boyfriend?
Unfortunately, there may not be a way to prohibit your wife from having contact with this person or vice versa unless there is a physical threat of harm. It may however be possible to limit or prohibit contact between this person and your children. This would require a court order for the benefit of the children.
Domestic abuse, child abuse, harassment and stalking are crimes which impact people from all communities, cultural backgrounds and economic levels. Restraining orders provide a civil remedy victims can use to increase their safety and to hold the offender accountable. It is possible to secure a civil order for protection while an offender is being prosecuted in the criminal justice system. A restraining order is a court order that prohibits contact and/or certain behavior directed to the person needing protection. It may be referred to as a civil order for protection, a stay-away or no hit order, an injunction or a temporary restraining order. They are different from bail or bond conditions, probation rules or a 72-hour no contact as condition of arrest order.
You enforce your temporary restraining order or final injunction by reporting violations to law enforcement. There are criminal penalties for respondents who knowingly violate valid orders, and Wisconsin law enforcement officers are mandated to make an arrest when they have reason to believe an order has been violated. Carry a copy of your order with you at all times.
Four types of restraining orders can be obtained for a number of reasons. They are primarily defined by the relationship that exists between the parties. The four types are:
Domestic Abuse: If an adult has intentionally caused you physical pain, injury or illness; has impaired your physical condition; has made you the victim of any Wisconsin sexual assault law; or threatened to harm you physically or sexually, you may ask for a domestic abuse restraining order if one of the following describes your relationship to the abuser.
a.you are related by blood or adoption;
b.or you are married or have been married to the person who has abused you;
c.or you have a child in common with the person who abused you;
d.or you have lived or are living with the person who abused you;
e.or you are receiving in home or community care from the person who has abused you;
f.or you are in (or were in) a dating relationship with the person who has abused you;
g.or you are under the guardianship of the person who has abused you, as defined by Wis. stat. 880.01(3).
Harassment: If a person attempts, threatens or does strike, shove, kick or otherwise subject you to physical contact; or repeatedly acts in a harassing or intimidating manner toward you for no legitimate purpose, you may ask for a harassment restraining order. A person can also allege child abuse as the basis for a harassment restraining order. Harassment orders are also obtained by victims of stalking.
Child Abuse: If a child is physically injured by other than accidental means, is a victim of sexual assault or exploitation, or is permitted or forced to violate prostitution laws, or is emotionally damaged by the behavior of an abusive adult, the child, a parent, stepparent, or legal guardian may ask for a child abuse restraining order on behalf of the child.
Individual at Risk:
The basis for an individual at risk restraining order can be any of the following: physical abuse, emotional abuse, sexual abuse, unreasonable confinement or restraint, financial exploitation (includes theft), neglect, stalking, mistreatment of an animal, or treatment without consent. These restraining orders are comprehensive and include many forms of abuse not found in other injunctions. The individual at risk must be an adult and the abuse must have been committed by an adult. The restraining order can be filed by the individual at risk or anyone on behalf of the individual at risk. If someone other than the individual at risk files an order, the court must appoint a Guardian ad litem.
A Two-Step Process
The person who asks for a restraining order is called a petitioner, because they petition the court to order another person to stay away from them or to stop hurting them. The person being asked to stay away is called the respondent, because they have the right to "respond" to the court as to what is said in the petition.
Step 1: Temporary Restraining Order (TRO)
People ask for TROs because they need immediate protection. It is also the first step in obtaining a longer term, "permanent injunction." To obtain a TRO:
1.Decide which type of restraining order fits your situation.
2.Fill out forms asking for protection, giving specific examples of the abuse. Make sure you include the date, time and brief description of every incident that caused you fear or injury.
3.Take the completed forms to a county judge or court commissioner. The office where you obtained the forms can tell you where they should be returned.
4.When you turn in the form, you will go before a court official who will conduct a temporary restraining order hearing. You will be asked about the alleged abuse or why you need a restraining order.
5.The judge or court commissioner may issue a restraining order for up to 14 days. If a temporary restraining order (TRO) is granted, it goes into effect immediately after the alleged abuser is officially served with the paperwork instructing him/her to stay away from you. A date for the next hearing is set; the purpose of the next hearing is to change your temporary restraining order (TOR) into a permanent injunction that can be enforced for up to four years. Child Abuse Injunctions can be entered for up to two years or until the child reaches the ages of 18, whichever occurs first.
6.A law enforcement agency will serve the TRO on the respondent. This means your abuser is informed of the fact that you have obtained a TRO, of the type of abuse you say happened, and the date and time of the next court hearing. In the TRO, the respondent is officially notified to stay away from you "temporarily," and that they can be arrested for violating the TRO. You can also hire a private process server if you feel the respondent could be more effectively located and served by someone who is not a uniformed officer.
7.Obtain written proof or "affidavit of service" from law enforcement that the TRO was served, because the court will ask for that proof at the Injunction Hearing.
Step 2: The Injunction Hearing
1.You must appear in court to turn the restraining order from a Temporary Restraining Order into a Final Injunction that can protect you for up to four years. (The time and place for this hearing was set during the TRO hearing.)
2.The court official will allow you and the respondent to testify. It is important to bring information such as police or medical reports that back up your petition. You may only be allowed to discuss incidents you outlined in the TRO petition, so be sure whenever you fill out forms to do so completely. You may be able to have witnesses testify on your behalf.
3.If the court finds that the abuse or harassment has occurred or may occur, he or she will issue a Final Injunction for the period of time that you request. You can ask that an injunction be in effect for up to four years, and most victims ask for four years. Domestic Abuse Injunctions, if granted, must be in effect for the amount of time requested by the petitioner. Child Abuse Injunctions can be entered for up to two years or until the child reaches the ages of 18, whichever occurs first.
4.You may ask the court to set a time for the respondent to collect his or her belongings if you live together. You should ask that a police officer or sheriff be present at that time.
5.You will be given a copy of the court's order. If the respondent is not at the hearing, the order will be served on him or her by law enforcement.
In the past there was a remedy called "alienation of affection" that would allow an adultery victim to file a claim against the third party. However, Wisconsin statutes have abolished such lawsuits.