If I am not legally separated can I still date?
Full Question:
Answer:
On the issue of whether a spouse should date after separation and before
divorce, you should understand that post-separation dating can be used as
evidence of adultery occurring during the marriage. If there was no illicit
sexual conduct before your date of separation, then post-separation dating
is not relevant to a claim for post-separation support or alimony. However,
a paramour who stays overnight when your children are present can be
grounds for denial of your custody or visitation. You should be forewarned
that you will likely be asked under oath at a deposition or at trial about any
dating or romantic relationships. To answer these questions falsely would
constitute perjury. You may plead the Fifth Amendment privilege against self-
incrimination under certain limited circumstances. Dating after separation and
before divorce may also have a serious negative impact on the settlement
negotiations between you and your spouse. At best, your infidelity can
cause your spouse hurt and embarrassment. At worst, it will provoke
feelings of anger and revenge, which will greatly complicate your settlement
negotiations with your spouse.
Also, your spouse might file an action for “alienation of affections”
or “criminal conversation” seeking substantial money damages against your
paramour based upon his or her sexual intercourse with you or interference
with the marital relationship between you and your spouse either before or
after the date of separation and before a divorce is final. Conversely, if your
spouse is engaging in extra-marital affairs, then you are the wronged spouse
and are in the position of filing an alienation of affections or criminal
conversation lawsuit against your spouse’s paramour. If that is the case,
you are well-advised to obtain proof of his or her affair through a private
detective.